OK, so who out there has seen Orange Goblin then? As I expected, not very many. As the little known band Wank would say: Get a grip on yourself. Why the hell are you so stupid! Really though, they are great.

Seeing as how one of the best bands in metal and a descendant of one of the best bands in metal were playing on the same night, I thought Scott and I should take a trip down to London to witness it. After trying for a couple of days to arrange transport down, a whopping 400 miles, we ultimately failed. It was going to cost us over £100 each just for the travel! I decided I'd just take my car instead. In the pursuit of saving money we had already decided we were not going to stay the night, so I was going to have to travel back up more or less straight after the gig! That's about 7 hours driving, 6 hours gig, then 9 hours driving again. Needless to say I had many Pro-Plus with me...

Before the gig we interviewed Nick and Alfredo from Queens Of The Stone Age, read it here.

After watching my brother (not Scott by the way) make a total arse of himself in the pub across the road, we shuffled into the venue at around 8:15pm if I remember rightly, and unfortunately Orange Goblin were already on stage (though only just I think). We quickly made our way to the front of a packed Garage where it was obvious how much the crowd were enjoying themselves - it really had a great atmosphere. They played the classics from their 'Frequencies From Planet Ten' debut, as well as a large number from their as yet unreleased 'Time Travelling Blues' which were well received for unknown songs. Considering their recorded sound, they are heavy as hell live, which as expected makes the songs easier to get into. I think they were even better than in Glasgow earlier this year when they were supported by Glaswegian rising stars Dying Sun, which is saying something. If you get the chance, you must see this band.

Next up were Iron Monkey, who should really have opened the night. Despite the enormous hype they've enjoyed over the past year they were shite. No, I really mean it - they were shite.

[SCOTT]
The last time Josh Homme played the U.K. was with Kyuss about four years ago, so this gathering of Kyuss fans here tonight weree ager to hear Queens Of The Stone Age - made up completely from former Kyuss members.

Most of the crowd (including myself) had only heard three Queens tracks prior to this gig - the ones on the Kyuss/Queens split CD (the only ones released so far), so most people were hearing the songs played tonight for the first time. They definitely have a different vibe to Kyuss, though in what way is hard to describe. It's as heavy as Kyuss was, but with a more mechanical rhythm (if that makes any sense), and more trippy.

'If Only Everything' was the only recognisable song they played (being off the Kyuss/Queens split CD), even though there were constant shouts for 'Born To Hula' from the crowd (another track off the split CD). Though the crowd didn't know most of the songs, it didn't stop them going nuts which was pretty cool. The band seemed very in sync with each other, and gave me the feeling that they were here to just have a jam and have fun - they seemed very tight, considering this was only their fifth gig together. The biggest surprise of the night was near the end of the set, whenthey played the Kyuss track 'Molten Universe' (Josh having previously stated that they weren't gonna play any Kyuss material at all) - not surprisingly, the place went crazy. After playing for over an hour and a half, and an encore of five or six songs, Josh finally ended the set, after telling the crowd that they simply didn't have any more songs left.

Oueens proved tonight that they're a great band in their own right, and are not simply (as many may think) Kyuss under a different name. From the strength of the songs tonight, the new album should be damn good. Be sure to check them out when they tour the U.K. towards the end of '98.

After all that I was forced to drive around the centre of the hell hole that is London for two hours before making the 6 hour journey back home. I didn't make it the whole way though, I had to sleep for two hours on the way. Not bad going though I thought. I'll tell you though, we were both euphoric as hell when we got out at the services to stretch our legs. It was either the Pro-Plus or the gig, make up your own mind.

Dark Side, even forgetting about the name, were a bit pants. Thankfully though, Therion were on after them. I had previously only heard one of their songs (Black Sun - on the Call On The Dark 2 compilation), and I quite liked it so I was intrigued to see them. They have a fairly unique sound, as you might expect from a band with three, yes three female singers:

Vocal duties were were almost entirely handled by the girls (was one of them the same person that sang with Cradle Of Filth in London recently?) which was very refreshing and gives the band a very operatic sound, though backed by heavy guitars. I think the guitarists / bassist had graduated with honours from the Kiss school of guitar wank.

Yep, all the stage show clichés were being dredged up here: back to back playing, foot on the monitor, swinging round, thrusting the guitars at improbably angles and waving them about were all there to be witnessed. All that and tight trousers with studded leather belts. They reminded me of Bathory actually (not that I've ever seen Bathory, but they acted and looked the way I imagine they would). I don't mean this as a criticism (I'm not a huge Bathory fan), they looked good doing it and the music was great. Therion are definitly now on the list of CDs I want to buy.

They showed that they were a class band, and people in the UK really should take them a bit more seriously. They're not shite. Fernando hinted pre-gig that this was a last-ditch effort to break the UK market, so if you ever want to see them again, go out and buy their latest album 'Sin / Pecado'. You won't be dissapointed.

Anathema closed the night, and I was prepared for them to be a bit dull live despite their great recorded material. I was surprised when they seemed full of life and enjoyment during the initial stages of the set and put on a great show. It's not often bands look like they're enjoying themselves as much as Anathema did. They also seemed to work really well together as a unit, and are obviously now happy with Vinnie Cavanagh on vocals. Unfortunately though their setlist was badly chosen and after a great start things settled into the dull groove I had initially expected. Thankfully things lifted greatly towards the end with the highpoint of 'A Dying Wish', possibly the best track of the night. Overall a reasonable performance, but their setlist picking skills still need a lot of work!

The first band on were Ursei Yatsura. Describing their sound is not that easy - the general vibe of their music is similar to Garbage, but instead of Garbage's clever and effective use of melody and keyboards, this band opt for more thrashy guitars, and rawer vocals. Don't get me wrong,though - I wouldn't really say they were metal, by any means. They really didn't do anything for me - they didn't have enough variety or good enough songs to keep me interested. The two guitarists were way too fond of sliding the pick along their strings, and the female bass player looked like a cardboard cut-out. If I'd only heard one or two songs, I'd probably have liked them better.

On to the reason people came here tonight: Garbage. Bursting into 'Temptation Waits', Shirley Manson looked stunning ~ she looked a lot better than any picture I've ever seen of her. A lot of the material tonight came from the new album, although old classics like 'Queer', 'Vow', and 'Not My Idea' were also played.

Duke and Steve (the two guitarists) didn't have that great a stage presence but Shirley more than made up for it, injecting energy into songs like 'I Think I'm Paranoid', while slowing the pace for the haunting 'You Look So Fine'. 'Only Happy When It Rains' and, 'Push It' were perhaps the two best songs of the night - more due to the crazy crowd more than anything else - I didn't really expect a Garbage gig to be as energetic as this was.

As a band they were very tight, and with a lot of great songs from their two albums to choose from it would have been difficult for them to be anything short of brilliant. And they weren't.

I liked the way the played an obscure B-side for the final song - it's good to see that, even though Garbage are bordering on mainstream, they still play for themselves first, and not just to please others. Cool gig, cool band. Nothing more to say, really.

I was afraid that the evening would prove unfruitful and that I was hoping in vain for some originality, skillful musicianship and just plain ole music, but the arrival of five-piece Dying Sun was an agreeable surprise. Their charming, though somewhat sleazy frontman, Mark Keddie is definitely at home onstage and full of the patter. They professionally worked their way through a slender set list of only seven songs, six of which were their own compositions - the seventh being a cover of Paradise Lost's 'Once Solemn'. It was refreshing to hear heavy music accompanied by not mere vocals, but real singing. Too many bands these days think 'heavy' means vocals in the style of Napalm's Barney. This, of course, is total and utter caca and Dying Sun are showing us how it should be done. They were in stark contrast to JYSM - Dying Sun have a professional, tight approach, which belies their young age - most of them around the official age of majority - 21 to you lot - and the volume and calibre of their own material was quality. Also mention-worthy is the big guy on rhythm guitar who cuts a fine figure and does an excellent line in grunting backing vox. Definitely worth seeing.   

Lord Colin's Special Mega-Report on Vampyria II

It was just as youd expect a vampire event to be, with 99.8% of people wearing black, 0.15% with white ye-olde mince-frilled shirts, and the token bint in white wedding dress. I hardly noticed anyone wearing fangs though. A few stalls were selling music related goods, vampire teeth etc.

The timetable was very confused and said everything started after midnight, with Cradle of Filth not on till 4am which pissed me off. But it was wrong and everything happened well before midnight, and the bars were closed by 10:30.

The price of drinks was extortionate, £3.30 for a pint, £3.80 for a measure of spirits, and £2 for a piddly little glass of coke that you could fill if you sneezed. One of the bars even ran out of pint glasses and you had to pay double-money by buying bottles instead. If you ever go to an event at the Camden Palace, dont let them rip you off and take some drinks discreetly in with you.

Then there was the vampire awards ceremony:
"And the award for Best Headlining Band at Vampyria II goes to..... Cradle of Filth!"
"And the award for best UK vampire film of the year out of a choice of
1 goes to..... Oh what a coincidence, its the same film weve been paid by Manga to
advertise." etc...

I didnt see most of the music performances because it was so crowded, but it sounded good. Luckily CoF came on just as I passed by a gap in the balcony and they were on top form. Dani's voice for the first half of the performance was 2 octaves deeper than he usually sounds which was a refreshing change, but halfway through someone must have kicked him in the nads or something and he went back to normal high-pitched mode.

On the way back through Camden there was a nicely appropriate pool of blood on the pavement. Unfortunately I chose this moment to remove my fangs and they went flying out bouncing across the pavement and landed inside a bloodstained packet of monster munch.

If ever I have seen a stadium band encaged within a small venue, this was it. The Barrowlands isn't even that small, but Iron Maiden certainly made it look that way. To illustrate this, they couldn't even fit their backdrop into the venue, they just had to leave it in the truck!

Maiden were great, putting on the best show I've seen from them in a while. Everyone except Blaze that is. It's sad really because you can tell he's trying very hard, he just isn't suited to a band of Maiden's size and so looks awkward on stage. Also vocally he just isn't Bruce, he can't hit those high notes. The rest of them were really enjoying themselves and doing all the typical rockstar things in their skin-tight jeans. While playing a huge number of epics from their previous two albums, they still played most of their classics (unfortunately no 'Run To The Hills' though) until their two hours were up.

The obligatory appearence from Eddie during 'Iron Maiden' was cool. Throughout the whole song he was fighting with Janick, taking swipes at him with his huge arms and Janick hitting back with his guitar. Yes it sounds bad, but it was totally cool. Probably the best Eddie I've seen yet.

Keep it up lads!

I was here to see two bands tonight, Permagrin & Chain. I'd heard a good buzz about both bands; on the verge of being signed etc., that kind of thing. I guess the pressure of me reviewing this gig was too much for Permagrin, as they didn't appear on the night after all. I'll get 'em one day...

Still, after a reshuffle of the bill, The Slipper Limpets kicked off the night a little later than billed to make up for the shortfall in bands. I was pleasantly surprised on a few counts. The band's line-up of 3 girls & 1 guy took the stage looking as if they wouldn't be out of place in The Dandy Warhols. The female bassist was centre stage with female & male guitarists to her right & left, respectively... so I assumed she'd be the lead vocalist. It turned out to be the guy, who for the entire set, was blocked from my view by the infamous Cathouse dancefloor pillar. When the band cranked up though, (and I hope they don't take this as an insult, because it's not intended as one) they sounded so much like Nirvana clones. Nothing wrong with that, I say. Nirvana can't do it anymore, so why not exploit the gap in the market left by the gunshot. Good on 'em! After a blistering set, I approached the lead singer for more info, and hopefully, we'll be hearing more from TSL at Attitude.

--- GOOD BANDS 1  BAD BANDS 0   Half-Time ---

Next band, Dominic Waxing Lyrical had a pretty strange look about them too. Another four-piece, this time; drummer, bass player, singer/guitarist & backing singer / keyboard player / electric cellist(?). As far as I can figure, they were trying to be a cross between The Levellers and Carter USM, but somehow managed to sound like neither. So bad were they, that after the 2nd song into their set, I could stand it no longer... and went for a seat near the bar!

--- GOOD BANDS 1  BAD BANDS 1   Full-Time ---
*** INTO EXTRA TIME: WHO WILL CHAIN SCORE THE GOLDEN GOAL FOR? ***

I'd been told a fair bit about Chain leading up to the gig from various sources. I was hoping no matter how crass their music was, that they'd at least be good at it. Big, anthemic Cock Rock was the phrase that sprang to mind through other people's descriptions. I don't mind it when it's done well, but done badly, it's utter shite.Once Chain take the stage (or in the guitar player's case, take root), vocalist Barry struts on, dressed in black CAT boots, black leather trousers, black pirate shirt and a pink feather boa(?). As the band went through their set-list, one thing became painfully obvious... I got the distinct impression that they were doing just that; going through the motions. Or, at least half of this quartet were! Martin on drums, and bass player Ronnie were vibrant onstage. Simply boyishly happy to be there (I wonder if this was Chain's first headline gig after numerous Cathouse shows), whereas Barry and guitarist Roly had an arrogant complacency about them. Roly, especially, wore a look that screamed "I can't be arsed, and I'd really rather be anywhere else but here". I have to question Barry's sobriety, too. Was his stage persona chemically induced? How many times did you say "Good evening, we're Chain", Barry? By the time it came to 'What You See', Chain gave the impression of; big guitars, big bass, big drums & big vocals (Roly used an Ibanez signed by Paul Gilbert of Mr.BIG!!!!). Instead of sounding like a band waiting to happen, they sound like one that's already had their 15 minutes of fame, and now on their way down after once playing stadiums, and it's all thanks to Barry & Roly. Overall, I'm sure Chain used to be good once, but Ronnie & Martin should jump ship before it sinks with them on board. I'm sure loads of other bands would kill to have a rhythm section like these two.

--- GOOD BANDS 1  BAD BANDS 1   A.E.T ---
--- (Bad Bands win 2-0 on P.K's) ---